I can’t keep screaming these things that will never reach your ears, it’s all just a faint whisper that has taken over the man I used to be. I chose to reserve these thoughts and feelings for myself so I don’t show the side of me that no one should see. I’m just a liar and your angst is over baring and drags me out to sea, I’ll keep fighting these waves and not plead for you to save me, because there is no need. I see the shore line and the false life I chose to help build to keep the tide at bay. But let’s be honest we knew that this foundation of sand would wash away and leave us broken, but we ignore the signs because we believe that we are golden. I hope there is clarity in time but all I do is watch the hands spin in monotony, the same direction never changing never growing. I wonder if I can sort thru these ashes to find the answers, to pick up and change, to try and make these claims truth and not lies. Will I ever see the light can I keep fighting the under tow, will I like the person I see because I can’t stand the man that life has cast out in front of me, I can’t stand this man because, this man is me.